WHAT A YEAR-2013

I believe I am an optimist and it’s only natural to say that last year was better than the year before and this year would be better than the one we just left behind. However 2013 was just mindblowingly spectacular. Yes it did triumph the years I fell in love for the first time, my first kiss, my first job and my first car. 2013 was larger than life in freakishly high proportions. I graduated from one of the top B schools in the world, spent a crazy one year in two continents , traveled like a maniac , lived in a gazzilion year old château , made friends from across the world literally with an OD of Latinos, learned a new language ,ate almost all of the world’s cuisines , bagged a superb job and moved in to a beautiful apartment in a new country .Most importantly did all of the above with the most spectacular partner in crime and rhyme Prinku.

2013 will always hold a super special place in my heart and in my life. It taught me to be humble , to take on challenges head on and deal with life. It made me understand the importance of knowing context and cultures of knowing religions and beliefs. There were times when it was difficult o hell ya – getting back to the classroom , trying to stay awake in those 90 minute lectures , dealing with some not so pleasant folks and most importantly staying away from my family and my G gang which I missed like crazy. But still the happiness and success trumped the challenges. I believe in myself more than ever , I believe I can take on anything in the world, all thanks to this one year. Given a choice I would hands down repeat 2013 again, but I am even more excited about this new one. I am sure I will face challenges. I know I will crazily miss my new friends who are now spread across the world and the old ones but I do know I will make it big with all that I have learned and with Prinku on my side.

LET IT BEGIN…..

It’s been a year I have been hooked and booked with you and every single moment since then has been sheer pleasure. You have been more than what I thought and definitely more than what I deserve. You have been a lover, mother and friend all packed in one small packet. I realise that you are the biggest gift I could give to my family and even though I will miss soaps featuring battles between mother in law and daughter in law I prefer this situation.

When most brides sit back and relax and plan their next shopping trips and cruises, you moved countries and jobs to support your groom who decided to become a student again. I applaud your financial understanding that I am a good investment and I will generate regular cash flows in future.

You know how to win hearts and bargain hard. You can bargain from Auto drivers to Ski guides, from airline staff to high street hotels. You can beat the shit out of our INSEAD negotiations prof. Your cost saving efforts and lets ask once policy have saved us appx. $ 2000 till now and I am sure this will go up and result in surplus cash.

I love your love for food and all things spicy and pray every day that one day you can turn in to a meat eater and enjoy some real food. Till then I agree that pasta tastes best with some green chili and breakfast is not breakfast till it burns your tummy.

And I have to agree that you are also better than me in most aspects case in point being falling just twice on your first ski trip, scuba diving without knowing how to swim and looking pretty even when you are dead tired being on the top of the list. Although in some other extremely small things like snoring I beat your ass

On this special day I can keep writing about all the awesome things that you have done for me and how cool you are but if I don’t get back to ACF our future cash flows will be disrupted. So I leave with a wish that every morning we wake up is blissful and every evening we fall asleep is peaceful rest everything will fall in place. Love u…

Prinku

I met you last September fell in love and we were married by March. After a series of catastrophic events when I had almost lost all hope of finding someone sane and shut my front door, you jumped in through the window. I still can’t forget that first glance I had of you waiting for me in the corner store, you looked stunningly beautiful. That lunch and what followed after that was straight out of a Bollywood movie, it was stuff that dreams are made off.

It’s been a year and I still can’t believe my stars and I have to admit I secretly thank god to show me the reality and also my ex-girlfriends for not being great to me. I so realised what I dint want in life and what I did. The only word to describe you is AWSOME. Since we got married in March it’s been a roller-coaster ride for you more than me. You moved from Mumbai to Delhi, shut your business in Mumbai, and started something in Delhi which you again left so as to accompany me on my INSEAD journey. You struggled hard to find a job which fitted your style and calibre it was crazy but in the end you did find it and I am glad you did. To do so much for someone you had just known for a few months is just insane and I don’t know of many who could do so much.

I know you miss home and your people and long to go back but you never say it and never complain. I also know that you sometimes kill your desire to go crazy and buy the world but you never stop smiling. Well I have to admit that without you My INSEAD story wouldn’t be half as exciting; in fact I don’t see me going through this without you. It’s difficult because I don’t get to see you throughout the day given our crazy timings but I long all day for that one hug which takes away all my stress , I forget all about CFP , accounting and whatever I am grappling with. One look at you and I am ready to take on the world again and win it for you. Hold on Me Munica the Journey has just begin…..ill get the world for you and soon...

Change

for once my life seems sorted unlike all the earlier times and its time to change the morose , copied yet intense title of my blog (unforgiven)to something more original may be less intense ..i am thinking what it could be while i write. Also i have moved in to a new phase of life which is quite a contrary to ancient Hindu stages of life.The ancient four stages are Brahmachari (student), Grihasta (Householder) Vanaprasta (forest dweller or Hermit in semi retirement) Sannyasi (the renounced one in full retirement). I am currently a grihasta and a brahmachari which means i would have been hanged in the old times. However today being a married student is super exciting. It’s challenging but quite exciting. So i intend to write more about our (me & prinku) life together at Insead and beyond. Honestly I also want to help those who are or are going to go through this stage of life.

Holy Matrimony

My mom once told me that there is a special person waiting somewhere for you and it’s difficult to find her because there is well only one. Last year September I lunched out with this someone special not knowing that she was the one. Long story short i fell in love and before I knew I was married to the prettiest girl I had ever met or known in my life. Surprise is that she is also the most sorted women I had ever met in fact I am surprised because I never knew women like her existed.

People who attended my wedding said I was the happiest groom they had ever seen and I support that point I was. Weddings in north of India can be quite stressful and eventful. the biggest event in a family’s life and contrary to the belief its not about the couple who is getting married. Its about card designs , accommodations for buas & massies , dinner arrangements for 1000+ guests who the groom or the bride would have never met in their lives and The Pundits.

I can easily say that now I am a pro at The Navgrah Pooja having performed it 5 times in 3 days. Believe it or not I did the same Pooja for the same god 5 times. If I was god I would definitely wake up and may be bless the groom if I was in a good mood.

But I was on a trip of my own and I wanted to enjoy my wedding and I did. Everything was super sorted thanks to my lovely parents and not to forget my sister who quit her job to become a wedding planner. The fights and arguments on venues , card designs and food menus gave away to super food , drunk buddies ,backless dresses and lot of dhol and dhamaka.

My mother is on cloud 9 because every one in her club thinks Priyanka was such a good catch and my father’s chest has blown because he managed the sexiest weddings in my hometown and family till now. As for me and my gorgeous wife we are happy that we can officially share the room and life.

2011....

2011 started like the past 4 years.. waking up in Goa with my dear Abu Singh(don’t get ideas he is my chaddi budy and my partner in crime) the only difference this year was that our third musketeer Viraj Sinh was not there( He had taken the plunge in to the unknown ) . We looked in each other’s drunk eyes and felt like shit, abused each-other and promised this won’t be repeated . I am glad the 4 year jinx finally ended. Abu’s found his girl and I have found my love….finally…. The New Year also started as usual with a lot of insane resolutions made in a state of drunkenness. Fuck 8 packs I will have 9 packs by the year end, I will run a full marathon, I will raft in Brahmaputra, I will buy a bike and the usual I will open a shack in Goa. Needless to say nothing of the above happened.. I was 6 kg’s heavier, couldn’t cross 21 km even once, couldn’t even reach Rishikesh and my car repair bills took a toll on my bike buying dreams. But something super happened…. I got back my burning ambition and my drive to break on to the other side .9 months of slogging and drinking less bear upped my bank-balance and my midnight snacking and almost no fitness activity made me gain 7 freakin Kg’s. But that’s not important, what is super cool is that I got through two of the best B Schools in the world KELLOGG and INSEAD. WAKAOOOOOOOO It is tough to describe the feeling but it’s almost liberating, the world is on my feet kind of a feeling, I am the king of the world kind of a feeling, the sun comes out of my ass kind of a feeling. I think this is how rock stars feel when their albums go platinum or when BOLT breaks a 100 m record or when Yuvi hits 6 sixes . All I know is I stand TALL and that’s what matters. Now as if this wasn’t enough. I got the biggest rush in my life when I found my girl soon to be my women. Finding Priyanka was like finding the elusive cradle of life, the holy freak-in grail , the lost king Solomon’s treasure ….so far my biggest achievement in life.I feel loved , I feel responsible and I feel super-duper happy ...and my heart skips a beat every time I see her smile . Life seems sorted for the first time and I can see the light at the end of the TUNNEL. Everything that I do, I achieve seems to have a purpose which is all funnily hooked back to this Angel In White … yes the Angel In White has arrived ppl…….and I am all set to embark on the journey of my lifetime… THE EPIC YEAR BEGAINS……

Package Delivered

Someone once told me “god sends an angel for everyone, there is one for one, no duplications. No matter how much you hover around, look around , sniff around u aint gona find her or well him if u are a lady or delve on the other side”. U might have an illusion that you have her, an illusion that might last years or a few seconds but sunny boy it’s an illusion after all. So I asked this someone “how do u know when your angel has been parceled by the great god”…he smiled at me and said “you will know my buoy you will know…” Guess what I now know ….its clichéd and lame but in my case a door bells rings... So here is the story ..i actually first saw my angel 4 years back sitting pretty in a vanity van of this hwaaat Bollywood star who I had just signed for my brand. I walked in and I almost thought I shd have signed her (angel) up instead..…sigh…. she looked prettier than everyone else around. I ignored the first bell…Mistake… Years went by and I went through shit in life you know illusions.Some months back I called her on her birthday randomly and she called me over for her bash …na I didn’t land up ignored the second bell…grave mistake… Honestly story could have ended and DHL could have returned the parcel to god with a note. The guy was an idiot didn’t recognize. That jerk doesn’t deserve her. Let him suffer. well guess what I got my third chance…so we went for lunch …third bell rang and I heard it you bet…loud and fuckin clear…and this time I am not letting her go…cause I know she is the one……no illusions…I see the writing on the wall…cant wait for her to land in my life..

just so right

She stood there in her super green coat, her eyes waiting and watching.... I saw her and it struck me what I had just done….. The leap of faith, the call of my heart. The hugs never ended and the love poured. I was almost doped out, coming in to terms to what had just happened. Had just traveled 500 miles to meet someone who seemed to be The One.. A battle raged between logic and emotions, Is it right, is it supposed to happen like this, i didnt give a dam, it just felt so right.. For the first time…it just felt so fuckin right…. WTF, the mushrooms, the caprioska and the taxy ride and the hands I so wanted to hold.. to be continued…..

Where is my Sun

Never thought 4 days could do this to me. 4 days, 4 meetings and the whole world seems topsy turvy , It’s complete chaos in there yet I seem settled, its loud yet so peaceful. No greys, no baggage no malice, just purity and intense emotion , I feel stronger cause some ones back there holding on, i am sort of lost almost intoxicated without even a swig. Best high ever.like freakin ever... I am coming to see you today and this anxiety is oh so sweetly unbearable, there you sleep cuddled up like a little baby and here I am holding on to my rucksack looking out waiting for the sun to rise .I don’t know what’s in stored for us but I know one thing ; if there was ever a chance to take this would be it , if there was ever a plane to catch it would be today and if there was someone I could bet my life on it would be you.... Can’t wait …where is my sun?

someones there.....

I caught her smiling in that corner store…she looked at me…and something clicked in side…like an old rusted switch …Sparkle in her eyes, ambition on her face and a walk to rule the world she got me going. Time stood still …everything else and everyone around suddenly seemed irrelevant. Best birthday in years… turning point. Like someone is finally there…feeling like a sixteen year old ,rush of blood in my head, warm hands, that sweet pain and the never endings hugs..…i wanna live again…forever.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

I am looking out of the window, seeing the sun go down
Counting the trees around me talking to the ghosts of the past
Then I look in to the mirror and i say BLAH BLAH BLAH

Racing with my shadows, filling emptiness with some grass
Dreaming about our dreams, dreams of who we are
Then I wake up from my slumber and I say BLAH BLAH BLAH

Jumping of my chair, trying to reach the stars
Timing my heart beating, holding my breath so far
Then I take a deep breath and I say BLAH BLAH BLAH

Shaking my memories, struggling to know who u are
U tell me we are we, but we are not who we are..
Then I realize ur name and I say BLAH BLAH BLAH

i am looking for some halo , looking for some spark
Something to keep me moving, someone to drive me far

Then I see the white angel hanging from my bar
And she holds my hand and says no more BLAH BLAH BLAH

Emptiness


Its senseless , crazy , stupid i know but I crave for something a little more loud , something with a little pain , something with a lot of insanity and someone with shit loads of deepness ( kiki don’t kill me) , I know however bad it would be its gonna be better than this emptiness .

So i have been walking for a very long time but never lost sight of the where and the what and the who, but this time around I have been walking but I have nothing in sight no one to reach out to,no where to go..i am just walking rather peacefully and honestly this silence is freaking me out …its echo is deafening .

Need my stupid emotion back need some noise….

Back to The Future!

Its one of those times when you want to believe in time machines , a time when u so desire u have one parked in your garage, when u want to believe that back to future was not just a sci-flick and Dr Brown was ur beer buddy.

For the longest I didn’t want to see what is instored for me in the coming months or years ,knowing it kind of took the spice out of it right ? Also I think I am a dreamer who likes to build my future in my own dreams and thoughts and I love it when my dreams come true and almost not fret if they don’t, if something does not work out I move on weave another dream. But sometimes the spice becomes too much to handle and you want it to be as bland as it could be, and that’s what I want now.

This time I don’t just wanna dream, I wanna know what’s coming my way, may be because at this point in time the stakes are too high and almost everything in future depends on what future would be , what I could be would depend on what I would be .

ebay, do you have any time machines on Sale?

DAD I LOVE YOU

Recently I met three friends who had recently lost their respective Dad’s. I got this unexplainable, painful feeling something which was full of fear, guilt, insecurity, love and immense respect. May be I should not be writing this but well I am so please take it as a wake up call for those who are fortunate enough to have their fathers around than as a sympathy note to those who have gone through the most excruciating pain of their lives because nothing can put them at ease.

Even though none of them spoke about it openly and all of them tried to not show their emotion and put up a rather brave face ,I could probably feel the pain which was nothing if compared to their's but still was piercing enough for me to realize one thing.

One’s Dad is probably the most important Man in his /her life and even though we meet many remarkable men in our life who can come in any form; brothers, friends, bosses, husbands, mentors and others but nothing can replace what one feels or should feel for his/her dad. I know most of us know this in the back of our minds but then that’s the back of our mind and that’s no place for Dad. He’s got to be up ahead in the front seat.

Come to think of it he is the man who has shaped the very us from inside and a little from the outside, yes I know for some of us what our fathers did is a distant memory because we moved out of our homes to make a man out of ourselves but remember that it was Dad who kicked our butt and probably said it for the first time “Grow Up, Be a Man, You Are Not A Kid Any More”. Our journey to be a man started from this comment of his and not with our first kiss or first smoke as we want to believe.

We could have turned in to kleptomaniacs if he wouldn’t have slapped us hard when we tried picking up that money lying on the Tv to play video games, we might have turned in to a junky if dad was smoking up all the time and gave us our first joint and said nothing beats marijuana son or may be a even a women abuser if dad didn’t love mom the way he did, for some reason he did it all right till we grew up and became opinionated.

And that’s important it was we who grew up not him he didn’t grow old, he is still the same guy who bravely faced our Math’s teacher after your super performance (read Crap), he is still the guy who knocks of at 10 while our life starts at midnight, he still likes his morning chai and newspaper while we have started having random whiskey mornings. He thinks of us, calls us, talks about us every single day while most of us wait for his birthday or fathers day.

Everything he did or everything he said or didn’t say somewhere impacted our life and we need to remind ourselves of it every single day.

Call up don’t wait for fathers day, he is waiting , if you have nothing to say just say I love u …

Hey God

Hey God

How’s it goin up there or well down there or well everywhere , so you know I am not much of a believer , don’t mind it but I guess most people I know are not. I don’t even know why I am writing this cause it’s like writing to a ghost well even ghosts exist..

So take it as a compliment I say because believe it or not you made me do it. So all this while I use to fight with mom and say that probably god was an alien or just a pigment of ones imagination and she used to fight back, I won most times cause I am good at arguments, but yesterday you made your point .

I felt the need, the need to believe that there is someone who is kind of running the show it was not even like i suddenly believed that u exist but a part of me wanted u to exist, exist as may be super man who could make things happen, turn, twist, move around but get the job done and be the last man standing.

But I got to say if u do exist you are one smart guy/girl/animal/alien/power cell I mean u got your way through me, hit me where u know will hurt the most.

Now that uev proved your point of existence and all please go ahead and work on my prayer, it’s important, you know it is, and if you make this work, boy u got one assured fan if ever u create your own blog.

And ya I am going to do what I can do best, give my best…u take care of the rest..Please be what you want me to believe you are.

Take care…Be there….

Nothing is Everything....

What’s wrong I asked and she said ohh nothing

Nothing is not nothing when she is everything

Nothing is important when its happiness you wanna bring

Happiness is what you feel when all you wanna do is sing

And by jooo I so wanna sing when I hear my phone ring

I know if it rings there is magic and may be its time to cling

And if we cling than this life will rock and we shall swing

Swing we shall through time through ages cause its not just another fling

Cause if it is one of those it will hurt more than a bee sting

And I so feel like being born for you like a needle for a string

So you know this nothing is everything…..

DAWN

There’s nothing like chilled breeze hitting your face, kings of Leon blowing your eardrums, ambition burning up your brain and thoughts warming up your heart, first long run this winter ….its like nothing absolutely nothing can stop you now, you don’t feel no pain , you don’t loose breath .. just the warm rush in your head ,its just you and your belief that will run you through this year in to the new dawn..
What a start for 2011 new pad, super ambition and the angel out of the box of chocolate fame.for once life seems sorted no muck ,no malice, ruthless honesty is the new name of the game, and woho what a game …its time to rise and shine baby , its time to be a MAN and DO THE RIGHT THING…

In Pursuit of Happiness

In Pursuit of Happiness

I am sitting here in Mumbai stunned at what just happened, some one said life is a box of chocolates you never know what comes out next , but no one like ever thought that an angel will come out of a box of chocolates when all you expected was well another chocolate.

So this angel has been walking around mowing all the scum in my life, burning all destructive and vicious elements around and kicking hard on my sweet non existent butt and telling me to WAKE UP and get my act together.

Well my dear Angel I am gonna do just that , get hold of my even paced peaceful life of which I have almost no complaints but also of which I am not very proud of like its no Hero Stuff. I am going to turn it around , push it to the next level and create a tale with liberal dozes of, ambition ,courage , passion, emotion and complication and take it to the next level , to a place where you arrive and you feel like o well UEV ARRIEVED .

I am going to create a fable of which I am proud of, which spells happiness and which I can recite to my grand kids when I am old and bored.

So now that that’s out of way cut me some slack and let me go and be the man I always wanted to be. And the Angel of the box of chocolates fame well I will talk about her when the time is right…….

fake...

I suddenly realized how fake is this world we are living in, this world of facebook and twitter of myspace and Google. You suddenly mistake mere acquaintances to be your friends, you follow, tag, byte, like, comment on almost strangers.

I suddenly realized despite having 485 freaking friends/acquaintances on facebook there’s not one I want to/can just call and go out for a sutta drive and a masala chai …..it just scares the shit out of me…my grandfather had more people lining up to meet him for godsake…but then again he was a good man and was not available for random chat on facebook…..dam u zucerberg u took the spirit out of my single-malt 29 years.

winters.....

Winters are here and woho with a bang for sure , this is one reason I love this city so much, for sure this is the best place to be in when the temperature goes dipping. Its time for masala chai and lot of sweet nothings , its time for sunlight and finding ur sunshine , its time for afternoon snooty brunches with mojhitos and kababs , for nice long runs without getting sweaty , for bonfires and barbeques which give u such a high , for all the reds with the reds , for the deep thoughts and the twisted perspectives for wanting to be a writer and a traveler again , for just getting lost , for a lot of luv and lub…wait did I say luv …ohh what a slip…