Unbelievable

It’s unbelievable
I mean how? How can the same person get in to the same shit every time? How!
Even though the pain is excruciating i feel like laughing.
Feel like laughing at my own stupid emotions, mocking my own decisions.
It’s that ability of getting in to fucked up situations trying to be a hero
I hate my own guts.
Why I mean why…can’t I live on the edge the way every one does? Why do I want to deep dive knowing I will drown for sure?

time to start again

Buddha says when you are stuck , and you cant find the answers you should go back to the beginning the start point , the tree from which it all started.

I think its that time in life , time for a change , time to go back to the roots and may be take a new direction . direction though can be notional and of thoughts rather than something visible to the outside world..

The change i seek is more internal than external , its more of a change in my thought than my action , its more for what i am than for what i do...

I need this to strengthen my core my mindset , cause i think i am entering a rather important phase of my life and i don't want to loose it...like most people do...i don't want to loose the real me...its too precious...

I still want to strum random songs and click random faces without being frowned at..i still wanna be out there and experience small little pleasures of life....

it hurts,,....

I know now why they say it hurts….
Have been there before but this time it really hurts….
Excess of it or lack of it I don’t know but it hurts…
The little laughter’s or the loud cries however what ever it hurts
Being their or just being it hurts…
Shoulder to cry or finger to hold it all hurts
Hope and hope against hope
Trust and mistrust it hurts …
I know now for sure, why they say it hurts…

something

something is missing , something seems wrong , something is in pain , something is wandering around`, something is crying deep down , something is loosing sanity , something is low ....

what is love

i wonder what it is ?
a manifestation of ideas and feelings that excite you as per neha kohli or a compicated amalgmation of confused human emotions.. something to live for or something to die for ...

Its been a good year

hmmm its that time of the year again...nip in the air....festivities around...pretty girls with pink cheeks and red mufflers , hot masala chai , fogy mornings the third dimension full on…..

Its been a good year...i lived like an explorer ,explored landscapes overwhelming ,cultures hard hitting ,thoughts perplexing, emotion bordering love and hate.....Its been a good year.

Trail running in the Phoenix mountains, early morning American breakfasts with Ridhi, driving middle of the night through a crazy landscape in an unknown country riding high on emotions, the grandeur of the Canyon , Vegas baby Vegas, New York Summer, fresh juice in Phil’s cafe , rounds of the central park reservoir, Mona and cafe lalo ,Sherry and our smoking up sessions , the ever so pretty Deeksha at Hudson bay,,, Its been a good year

Landing at the highest civilian airstrip, discussing a trip to Everest over masala omelets ,momos at Penguin garden cafe , road to kargil ,mind-blowing Zanskar glacier ,cricket at 14000 ft , rafting in gods own land for 4 days through the craziest landscape my eyes have ever witnessed...boy bonding full on , the mother of all rapids , the feeling of you might not live the next moment , bluest highest saltwater lake , banofy pies and chilled beers lamas and spirituality ........Its been a good year.

Egg benedicts at Nighlath , Himalayas from Hartola , smoking up at 6 in the morning , green tea and the French doctor …guitar sessions and barbeques topped with jacko and cokes…steamed fish , goan fish , masala fish , basil and tomato fish…. Its been a good year.

Running and the love of it , 10 k's and 15 k's , cramps and the cruel runner’s nipple , beers and tikkas at the end of our runs...my Reeboks and over used Nano....21k in 2hrs 40 minutes , ,.Amir khan’s 8 packs, inspiration to have at least six , killer workouts , being fitter then ever before , believing in the secret…. feeling like a rock star ....Oh its been a good year

Little Love, lots of love, confused love, complicated love, well it’s been a good year……

rafting in gods own lands

Couldn’t believe I was on it.. the trip of a lifetime…..the trip that will transform us from boyszzzz to men…. Me Abu and Viru went on to do what no man at least from Chandigarh and Gurgaon has done before.

We were on a rafting expedition on Zaskar the highest raftable river in the world. we are up against Ice cold water, killer whirlpools and grade 5 rapids.We would have to shit In the great wide open amongst bumble bees , thorns and sheep and hunt for dinner…..

We thought we will leave behind a legacy….The Singh , Sinh and Punj clan would be proud of us and our bravery. We would be worshiped for our courage by the next 7 generations …… well in addition to the above reasons we really needed a chuti………so we were on it….

Three of us were thrilled but a little worried as none of us had ever shat in open grounds.

We landed at about 9 Am at arguably the highest civilian airstrip in the world with our balls in our mouth thanks to Air Deccan and sada pilot…who was acting more like a Qutab Minar guide…giving gyan about Himalayas and how the sun rises from the crack of his ass…

Mani was on it and just seeing him was believing that all is under control well that’s just him….on agenda today was to eat, sleep, eat again and sleep again….peace of cake for us considering this is what we do most of the time…......Met some interesting people and felt like shit after hearing that those guys had just scaled Mt Everest and are on this expedition to scale one of the virgin peaks in eastern Karakorum.

The next trip is for sure Mt Everest …considering there is a ladder at Mt Everest now…dude our mama and papas can do it now….well we are just looking for sponsors … any one knows any one in Carlsberg …chilled beer is in short supply in upper Himalayas….for sure.

Next day was rather low key except for the food which always is a highlight any ways….we got enlightened with our visit to three monasteries…we are still figuring out why the hell these guys went so high in search of god ....well as far as us three are concerned we attained nirvana and concluded that god existed in banana honey pancakes and the banofi pie amongst extremely good looking French , Italian and british women in Leh cafes….

The real journey started on the 3rd day when we boarded our bus to Kargil….and just before we could get our of Leh the magic pill I had un-constipated my constipation….and I had to run for cover…..and with every passing moment thanked the inventor of toilet paper and the bus behind which I took cover.

We traveled through landscape dry and arid beyond expectation….our thirst for chilled beer just growing with every passing mile….and then we were there at the Lamaruyu monastery one of the oldest ,,,could fall any day for sure in the world….the signboard read smoking , drinking and sex strictly prohibited….well you can cut the last and the first for sure but beer ooooooooo we needed it for survival ,…and walla we did thanks to Mutup our local Ladakhi henchman and river guide … jugad for sure works in the land of lama.

Kargil was unlike most of us picturised it , calm , pristine next to the river with no view of the tiger hill…..we went out in search of some Biryani , Wazwan and a Photostat shop and came back with a few kit Kat which felt like Mississippi mud pie…that night…

Me and Abu were the last to board the bus thanks to Abu’s tryst with the shit- pot and his will to shit well…..the only board were we could get our self clicked was the Kargil taxi union board which will stand testimony to the fact that the boyz have conquered the hearts of pretty Kargil chicks….well at least we want to believe so…

We were on the last leg of our journey to our base camp at phey and the action had just begun with the NUN and KUN in full glory….though we couldn’t make out which ones NUN and which one’s Kun and it doesn’t really matter after all ….had our lunch at Rangdum which is a small village (read 4 huts) with a breeze hitting us at blistering speed (could have taken our chadis off). Soon we drove up to 16000 ft and crossed over in to the Zanskar valley and saw what was the mother of all views….the Zanskar glacier the origin of the Zanskar river ( the same one we would be rafting on for the next few days ) …it was scary , mysterious monstrous ….and inviting,,,,,,( only for those who have signed their wills and have had enough sex)

like I said the journey had just begun…

To be continued……..