2011....

2011 started like the past 4 years.. waking up in Goa with my dear Abu Singh(don’t get ideas he is my chaddi budy and my partner in crime) the only difference this year was that our third musketeer Viraj Sinh was not there( He had taken the plunge in to the unknown ) . We looked in each other’s drunk eyes and felt like shit, abused each-other and promised this won’t be repeated . I am glad the 4 year jinx finally ended. Abu’s found his girl and I have found my love….finally…. The New Year also started as usual with a lot of insane resolutions made in a state of drunkenness. Fuck 8 packs I will have 9 packs by the year end, I will run a full marathon, I will raft in Brahmaputra, I will buy a bike and the usual I will open a shack in Goa. Needless to say nothing of the above happened.. I was 6 kg’s heavier, couldn’t cross 21 km even once, couldn’t even reach Rishikesh and my car repair bills took a toll on my bike buying dreams. But something super happened…. I got back my burning ambition and my drive to break on to the other side .9 months of slogging and drinking less bear upped my bank-balance and my midnight snacking and almost no fitness activity made me gain 7 freakin Kg’s. But that’s not important, what is super cool is that I got through two of the best B Schools in the world KELLOGG and INSEAD. WAKAOOOOOOOO It is tough to describe the feeling but it’s almost liberating, the world is on my feet kind of a feeling, I am the king of the world kind of a feeling, the sun comes out of my ass kind of a feeling. I think this is how rock stars feel when their albums go platinum or when BOLT breaks a 100 m record or when Yuvi hits 6 sixes . All I know is I stand TALL and that’s what matters. Now as if this wasn’t enough. I got the biggest rush in my life when I found my girl soon to be my women. Finding Priyanka was like finding the elusive cradle of life, the holy freak-in grail , the lost king Solomon’s treasure ….so far my biggest achievement in life.I feel loved , I feel responsible and I feel super-duper happy ...and my heart skips a beat every time I see her smile . Life seems sorted for the first time and I can see the light at the end of the TUNNEL. Everything that I do, I achieve seems to have a purpose which is all funnily hooked back to this Angel In White … yes the Angel In White has arrived ppl…….and I am all set to embark on the journey of my lifetime… THE EPIC YEAR BEGAINS……

Package Delivered

Someone once told me “god sends an angel for everyone, there is one for one, no duplications. No matter how much you hover around, look around , sniff around u aint gona find her or well him if u are a lady or delve on the other side”. U might have an illusion that you have her, an illusion that might last years or a few seconds but sunny boy it’s an illusion after all. So I asked this someone “how do u know when your angel has been parceled by the great god”…he smiled at me and said “you will know my buoy you will know…” Guess what I now know ….its clichéd and lame but in my case a door bells rings... So here is the story ..i actually first saw my angel 4 years back sitting pretty in a vanity van of this hwaaat Bollywood star who I had just signed for my brand. I walked in and I almost thought I shd have signed her (angel) up instead..…sigh…. she looked prettier than everyone else around. I ignored the first bell…Mistake… Years went by and I went through shit in life you know illusions.Some months back I called her on her birthday randomly and she called me over for her bash …na I didn’t land up ignored the second bell…grave mistake… Honestly story could have ended and DHL could have returned the parcel to god with a note. The guy was an idiot didn’t recognize. That jerk doesn’t deserve her. Let him suffer. well guess what I got my third chance…so we went for lunch …third bell rang and I heard it you bet…loud and fuckin clear…and this time I am not letting her go…cause I know she is the one……no illusions…I see the writing on the wall…cant wait for her to land in my life..

just so right

She stood there in her super green coat, her eyes waiting and watching.... I saw her and it struck me what I had just done….. The leap of faith, the call of my heart. The hugs never ended and the love poured. I was almost doped out, coming in to terms to what had just happened. Had just traveled 500 miles to meet someone who seemed to be The One.. A battle raged between logic and emotions, Is it right, is it supposed to happen like this, i didnt give a dam, it just felt so right.. For the first time…it just felt so fuckin right…. WTF, the mushrooms, the caprioska and the taxy ride and the hands I so wanted to hold.. to be continued…..

Where is my Sun

Never thought 4 days could do this to me. 4 days, 4 meetings and the whole world seems topsy turvy , It’s complete chaos in there yet I seem settled, its loud yet so peaceful. No greys, no baggage no malice, just purity and intense emotion , I feel stronger cause some ones back there holding on, i am sort of lost almost intoxicated without even a swig. Best high ever.like freakin ever... I am coming to see you today and this anxiety is oh so sweetly unbearable, there you sleep cuddled up like a little baby and here I am holding on to my rucksack looking out waiting for the sun to rise .I don’t know what’s in stored for us but I know one thing ; if there was ever a chance to take this would be it , if there was ever a plane to catch it would be today and if there was someone I could bet my life on it would be you.... Can’t wait …where is my sun?

someones there.....

I caught her smiling in that corner store…she looked at me…and something clicked in side…like an old rusted switch …Sparkle in her eyes, ambition on her face and a walk to rule the world she got me going. Time stood still …everything else and everyone around suddenly seemed irrelevant. Best birthday in years… turning point. Like someone is finally there…feeling like a sixteen year old ,rush of blood in my head, warm hands, that sweet pain and the never endings hugs..…i wanna live again…forever.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

I am looking out of the window, seeing the sun go down
Counting the trees around me talking to the ghosts of the past
Then I look in to the mirror and i say BLAH BLAH BLAH

Racing with my shadows, filling emptiness with some grass
Dreaming about our dreams, dreams of who we are
Then I wake up from my slumber and I say BLAH BLAH BLAH

Jumping of my chair, trying to reach the stars
Timing my heart beating, holding my breath so far
Then I take a deep breath and I say BLAH BLAH BLAH

Shaking my memories, struggling to know who u are
U tell me we are we, but we are not who we are..
Then I realize ur name and I say BLAH BLAH BLAH

i am looking for some halo , looking for some spark
Something to keep me moving, someone to drive me far

Then I see the white angel hanging from my bar
And she holds my hand and says no more BLAH BLAH BLAH

Emptiness


Its senseless , crazy , stupid i know but I crave for something a little more loud , something with a little pain , something with a lot of insanity and someone with shit loads of deepness ( kiki don’t kill me) , I know however bad it would be its gonna be better than this emptiness .

So i have been walking for a very long time but never lost sight of the where and the what and the who, but this time around I have been walking but I have nothing in sight no one to reach out to,no where to go..i am just walking rather peacefully and honestly this silence is freaking me out …its echo is deafening .

Need my stupid emotion back need some noise….