i hate it.......

I am sick of this emotional entangle and dependence. My never ending tryst to break on to the other side .this never ending war is making me lame. It’s almost like having no limbs. Were is the myself I loved so much disappeared I liked it you know the meaner me , the survivor me , the solitary birding trips…made me stronger….but I don’t know why I feel week in the knees again..

I had to muck it up for myself. Idiot…

i walk alone

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...


( By Green Day Boulevard of Broken Dreams )

winds of change.

The tide is turning. I don’t know why but everything is lookin, sounding, smelling good. The depressed old me has given way to the new buoyant and positive me. I am liking it .ok loving it...God let this be.Please let my happiness outlive me this time..

goa yet again

My love affair with Goa Continues with my 4th visit since and October 2006. Its surprising how one place can be so soothing and tranquil yet manage to bring out your untamed and feral side out.

Goa has some how been the leaf between the superbly dissimilar chapters of my life. One chapter ends goa happens and I step in to an all new freaky chakra .Its almost like punj in wonderland . Ok I think I am getting lost somewhere. Well I guess Goa has been more then just a destination for me its been a silent catalyst of subtle change for me.

From the confused Mr Punj in September to the all wreacked vaibhav in December to this all new oh I luv my life and shit like that new me its been quite a journey.

This time around a lot less of me time and a lot more of us time. A lot of , sizzlers, goan fish curries and Ham omelets, lots of desi port wine and jd with coke and a lot of conversations bordering religion and existence of god with an extra topping of love and desire.

Leela’s caffe and Brittos at Bagha were the obvious digging holes and Inferno at candolim road and Nisha’s at Tittos road were the new discoveries with stuff definitely to write home about .

The most memorable would though be me coking anda bhoorji in that solo shack at new years eve and Sajid serving it to 7 hungry werewolf’s who would have eaten us otherwise. I think I am gonna be cooking for the rest of the year …more then anda bhoorji I hope..

Lot less depth , lot more materialistic shit but what the hell I luved it ...

and kiki got married

it was time that kiki got married
it was her 8th fall with him
ups and downs ,highs and lows... she had seen it all with him
cried, laughed, got drunk, got sloshed, tripped, tried all the shit in the world with him
it was time that kiki got married...

loveeeee was in the air and in the food and in the drinks as well
laughter ,crankiness , anxiety , tears in mom's eyes well it was all there
dholis with there dhols djs with their groves were there too
it was time that kiki got married...

sutta drives and wine drinking sessions would never gonna happen again...
mafia all night with brothers in arms literally was never gonna happen again....
crib sessions ,gym sessions with girlfriends would be missed as well
but hell it was time that kiki got married...

she hugged all and tears rolled down her face....
we stood there spell bound sayin goodbyes to her and her life....
paki dosti ,love shuv and all that ....kinda went on with her but not lost forever...
well it was finaly the time when kiki got married....

winter

hmm....can u feel the nip in the air...the third dimension which appears on the street lights ...
winter is round the corner and its already getting lonely and cold...

their were times i waited for winters and now it seems i detest them for the coldness and the sadness it beholds...i need my sunshine....

well would it be the second depressing winter in a row ..last year October was when i started writing this blog and life hasn't changed much...

i guess its time...i guess the buck stops here....