mindless

well another year gone....shd i be happy .....well a new beginning and all that crap or shd i be a lill sad ...

i think its always good to remember what has gone by ,,,remember what you are ,,,what made the you //you know and the you everyone else knows.`but sometimes its so hard to remember the whats in life.

i am amused how the greys in your life never vanish...i mean they dominate...the moment you think ur in control and the plan is finally working...some one pisses in the wind...and slap...back to reality...no not that i had a plan either...

think this year just went by without a plan...or did i just stop thinking and finally let go....was it good was it bad ...i don't know ...i never will know....but i guess its time to take controllll..what say...`time to REETHINK....and REEPLAN...

also the year was awfully low on emotions...like i said a lot of grey...guess that's why less entries..

huh.,,its all mindless....smoking up doesn't help either...

Unbelievable

It’s unbelievable
I mean how? How can the same person get in to the same shit every time? How!
Even though the pain is excruciating i feel like laughing.
Feel like laughing at my own stupid emotions, mocking my own decisions.
It’s that ability of getting in to fucked up situations trying to be a hero
I hate my own guts.
Why I mean why…can’t I live on the edge the way every one does? Why do I want to deep dive knowing I will drown for sure?

time to start again

Buddha says when you are stuck , and you cant find the answers you should go back to the beginning the start point , the tree from which it all started.

I think its that time in life , time for a change , time to go back to the roots and may be take a new direction . direction though can be notional and of thoughts rather than something visible to the outside world..

The change i seek is more internal than external , its more of a change in my thought than my action , its more for what i am than for what i do...

I need this to strengthen my core my mindset , cause i think i am entering a rather important phase of my life and i don't want to loose it...like most people do...i don't want to loose the real me...its too precious...

I still want to strum random songs and click random faces without being frowned at..i still wanna be out there and experience small little pleasures of life....

it hurts,,....

I know now why they say it hurts….
Have been there before but this time it really hurts….
Excess of it or lack of it I don’t know but it hurts…
The little laughter’s or the loud cries however what ever it hurts
Being their or just being it hurts…
Shoulder to cry or finger to hold it all hurts
Hope and hope against hope
Trust and mistrust it hurts …
I know now for sure, why they say it hurts…

something

something is missing , something seems wrong , something is in pain , something is wandering around`, something is crying deep down , something is loosing sanity , something is low ....

what is love

i wonder what it is ?
a manifestation of ideas and feelings that excite you as per neha kohli or a compicated amalgmation of confused human emotions.. something to live for or something to die for ...