Friday, December 22, 2006

she


she thinks too much yet she reaches no conclusion
she seeks reality yet love living in this illusion

she is high on life and through all she rows
she is a sucker for love and that shows

she cries ,she laughs ,she sulks ,she snaps
she cribs , she shouts , she loves ,she taps

she is cheek , she is voguish , shes loves bling
she is casual ,shes ghetto , shes always the in thing

she surprises me amazes me all at the same time
she is dreamer shes a philosopher of of some kind

she nudges ,she judges , she critiques ,she share
she lights , she fights ,she bites but she cares

she designs , she redefines and she regenerates
she is flawless , shes raw and is carved to create

she is giving ,shes forgiving and hell she dares
to forget ,to experiment , to restart ,shes always there

she found love , she lost love and fuck she doesn't care
she is strong , she is phenomenal and god dam rare.

her day is dreamy and night is divine
her life is enviable but she knows to draw her line.

her eyes are dreamy brown and her mane shiny black
her hands are pretty and feet can make me a jack

she loves to be loved and hates to be hated
she waits to get for all that she waited

i can keep on writing for i know her so
ill can never hold her but just cant let her go

she will look around ,find love and wedding bells she will hear
if not , not to worry ,ill always be there..........

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

closure

closure of thoughts
closure of sought

closure of highs
closures of fears of falling down

closure of dreams
closure of them shattering

closure of wrongs
closure of claiming the wrongs are right

closure of war
closure of trysts to win

closure of pain
closure of efforts to hide pain

closure of love
closure of wanting more of it

closure of expectations
closure of frustrations

closure of happiness
closure of mindless laughter

closure of trust
closure of getting stabbed in the back

closure of life
closure of fights to live

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

the beast within..


he said the dooms day is here,
wake up , shake up and run there

there is were you would find him,
he waits to be unleashed and without u the chances for that are grim

u reach there and unshackle him ,
unshackle the chains which were holding the beast within

the beast within was born long ago,when for the first time u were betrayed,
it grew bigger and stronger with every sacrifice u made

he was dark & gory , hungry & insane,
he was ready to kill and feed on everything around and every one who seemed sane

he wanted to avenge my defeats and revenge my past,
slay all who stabbed me and cut through there mask

shatter their life's and break their bones,
murder their dreams and burn their homes

he would make me stronger and ill regain what i have lost,
the power,the glory,the aura ,the respect which i have missed the most.

i shall rule he said , and they shall worship you,
i shall be the king , and they shall role in dust and hue

i was about to unshackle him and start the wreath,
but i stopped and shaked and then took a deep breath

wondered would i be happy , wondered if i ll go mad,
thought of the past and the future and then killed him instead....

so what if i was pushed a bit ,so what i was sometimes canned..
i am contended , i am loved by those who matter and i am a happier man...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

i loved you


i loved being intrigued

i loved being surprised

i loved being stared at

i loved being shouted at

i loved being snapped at

i loved being critiqued

i loved being loved

i loved being hated

i loved being kissed

i loved being hugged

i loved being looked upon

i loved being ignored

i loved being shared

i loved being moved



i loved being in that dizzy

i loved being proud

i loved being silly

i loved being real and unreal

i loved being a dreamer

i loved being an optimist



i loved those perennial highs

i loved those discordant chords

i loved those mindless arguments

i loved those rhythm less songs

i loved those clueless waits

i loved those endless drives

i loved those thoughtless thoughts

i loved those wronged perspectives



i loved you.............

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

City of Joy




of yellow cabs ,of trams ,of hand rickshaws & broken backs


of fish , of rice & of hunger


of high rises , row houses & of footpath shacks


of beautiful eyes , of beautiful smiles & of prostitution


of critiques , of socialists & of rebels with no cause


of clubs , of linage , of royalty & of men with masks


of soccer , of cricket & of worship


of sadness , of poverty & of hope


of books , of scholars & of opinions


of smoke , of coke & of wilderness


of lust , of love & of passion


of past ,of present & of future


of kings , of British & of middle class


of speeches ,of rallies & of bureaucracy


of sensuousness , of sexuality & of openness about it


of legal illegalities & illegal legalities


of beauty , of finesse & of the cheek


of love ,of trust & the glimpse of it.......



Wednesday, November 01, 2006

i move again..yet again


lost in my thought

wasted in my love

blinded by my faith

scared by my past

spooked by my god

shaken by my belief

faked by my reality

withered by my sleep

harrowed by my depth

hallowed by my self

wickeded by my morals



judged by the clueless

inspired by the losers

forgiven by the sinners


loved by the hated

moved by the weaklings

trusted by the betrayers

cared for by the wounded

advised by the immature

enlightened by the darkness


in search of the unknown

i move again ....yet again

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Impossible Love



she walked down in the alley , with a friend of hers
sparkling eyes ,dazzling smile that made me hers
i still remember the night we danced all night
and i said to my self that ill fix her......


relieve her of all the misery shes going through
and kill the pain that made her face go blue....
ill hold her , ill cuddle her and never let her go
love her , adore her and make her let go....


we smiled , we laughed , we shouted out loud
we frowned , we stared and we cried out loud...
we held hands , we held hearts and we held each other..
never to let go , always to be, we said to each other

my bed on which she laid is still unmade
can still smell the cigarette smoke she puffed on my face
cant still believe of what went off and what she said
can still feel her with me ,within me instead

i said i love you baby and that's what matters
she said she loved me more then i ever did....
she works till the night fall , and sleep till the sun rise
she runs , she hides and she stays away from all that matters
here i am crying out loud,tears of misery rolling down
all i ever had ,all i ever was , all i wanted to be has just disappeared
my dreams died , my love died shouting it out loud,
the wine is over and the blue orchids have dried
i know i love her and she loves me more...
but this love will kill us for sure
love each other but hate each other
distanced we crave for each other..

we are not possible she says...
though i love u with all my heart she says
she loves me and i do that too .
but this ain't just love..
this is what they call impossible love....

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I Seek


I seek darkness , after light blinded me

I seek pain , after joy made me crawl

I seek ugliness , after beauty vanished from within

I seek starvation , after my grub poisoned me

I seek storm , after the lull made me fall

I seek war , after peace killed the old me

I seek strangulation , after the air that suffocated me

I seek poverty , after the rich me let go all i had

I seek deception , after trust stabbed me in my back

I seek enemy , after my friends lusted my girl

I seek hatred , after my love turned ugly

I seek no future , after my past refused to stay put

I seek no new me , after the old me died yesterday

I seek death ,after my life walked off

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Alone

AWAKE
Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and choose the sign of your day
The day's divinity

Morrison said it out loud and i woke up....not ready to leave her in my dream...too lazy to choose the sign of the day.
eyes closed ,bare foot i did what i have been doing for the past 8 months...following it like a ritual..day after day...walked out on the terrace in to the wide open...
took a deep breath....opened my eyes....
hell...could feel the change and the immediate pain...
the realization of my immediate past and a reflection of my immediate future...
the sunlight couldn't do away the darkness that encircled my soul....
the truth was wavering like a ghost ....i was alone ...yet again....once again....and it was fall ....once again ...yet again......
wanted to shout it out loud ....question......the 80:20 ratio in my life....couldnt....wanted to cry it out ....couldnt.....feel strong move on couldn't.......
my feet as if blistered took me back....in to the dark ...felt comforted to get out of that contrast...
started my day.....thinking how & why ......emphasis was on how and not why.....
how was to seek an answer for future and not to ask a question for the past.....

3 months of festivities , jackos , coffees , smokes, goa,dinners and loneliness......how.....
how ....will i......

unforgiven

state of mind....

Lay beside me, tell me what they've done
Speak the words I want to hear, to make my demons run
The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true
If you can understand the me, than I can understand the you.

Lay beside me, under wicked sky
Through black of day, dark of night, we share this pair of lives
The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining throughNo, there's no sun shining

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?
What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Come lay beside me, this won't hurt
I swearShe loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again
She lay beside me, but she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still, yes she'll be there when I'm gone
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there!

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?
What I've felt, what I've knownSick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Lay beside me, tell me what I've done
The door is closed, so are your eyes
But now I see the sun, now I see the sun
Yes now I see it!

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?
What I've felt, what I've knownSo sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?, 'cause I'm the one who waits,
The one who waits for you

Oh what I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?
(So I dub thee unforgiven)Oh, what I've feltOh, what I've known!
I take this key (never free)And I bury it (never me) in you
Because you're unforgiven too
Never freeNever me'
Cause you're unforgiven too!